


Yesterday's gone

by RandomK



Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic (Video Games)
Genre: Gen, I called it major character death, Jedi ethics are questionable, Memory Alteration, Memory Loss, POV Second Person, and putting a different one in its place, but it is more of a death of personality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24517750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RandomK/pseuds/RandomK
Summary: What does it take to erase a past, and what is lost in the process?
Kudos: 7





	Yesterday's gone

When people die in the name of a losing cause, they often say that 'at least they died as themselves'. In their case it means that they died without betraying their principals, life philosophy, secrets, friends, or cause. You on the other hand, can never make that claim. It is probably the greatest indignity that ever has, or will ever happen to you.

When you die, it is not from betrayal or a blown up ship, but what happens after.

* * *

" _The Jedi do not believe in killing their prisoners. No one deserves execution, no matter what their crimes."_

At least, that's what they said out loud. Despite all their talk about death allowing one to 'become one with the force' they are oddly reluctant to give people that luxury. So much for having mercy. What they actually did was much worse.

* * *

" _What greater weapon is there than to turn an enemy to your cause? To turn their own knowledge against them?"_

However they chose to phrase it, it was destruction. It was ending a life. An annihilation of a personhood. It was a funeral in every aspect except disposing of the body. And the worst part was how powerless you were to stop it.

Jedi have always been- for lack of a better word- stagnant. They focus on the past, and chose principal and ideals over truth and action. The way of the order has not changed in thousands of years, and the people of the galaxy suffer for it. They discourage individuality, and have a hive-like mentality that has long since fell out of use.

It's a reason why you left, and being brought back unnerves you deeply. You don't feel like you can escape a second time. This is the end. You are doomed to become a statistic, another blank face in a sea of hundreds.

The method of how is quite a surprise to you.

* * *

You are trained to resist torture. You are trained to resist interrogation. You have great mental defenses. You are not, however, trained to resist healers and accidental resulting force bonds, and in that lies the chink in your armor. She can get through, and by that, others can get through. And the only word you have applicable for what follows that is rape.

Not physical of course, as that would probably be against the codes. But taken against another's will, and by force. To defile. Everything that made you Revan was destroyed, trapped behind shields. Your every memory is examined, synaptic chords rearranged, and even your face is changed, until you look down at yourself, and see a stranger. You consider the person some sort of zombie even, because you cant control the body, and might even be looking in from the force.

* * *

That person is not you, it is a shell. A shell who acts wrong, talks wrong, and even walks wrong. A shell who writes everything in a journal because of informed memory issues. A body hijacker, who expelled your soul. Someone who shouldn't exist, who never should have existed, especially in the place of you.

You wont be remembered as a Tactician of the Mandalorian wars. Not after this. You will be forever known as a traitor and slave, a puppet dancing on strings. Your body may still live, but YOU and everything you lived for died in that explosion. You can only wish you were dead.

Reality is a thousand times worse.

**Author's Note:**

> "Wait! What happens to old Revan?" Is Revan stuck in your mind, screaming at you for your betrayal? Is Reven in the force because the mind wipe effectively killed off the person Revan was for good? Was Revan wiped out of existence forever?
> 
> Whatever way I looked at it, it was terrifying, and I felt a need to write something about it.


End file.
